Poopy Day (half kidding)

I want to write about my day but I don’t even know where to start. From the moment I woke up I was frustrated. Well not exactly from the moment I woke up. I’ve been waking up really happy actually. I’ve been well rested and have been going to bed with a thankful heart. So today started off the same way as it has been. However, as I walked into the kitchen to make some coffee I was greeted by my roommates’ friend. He’s been a guest at our apartment for the last few months. Coming by a few times a week. I knew I was beginning to feel uncomfortable with him being around especially after he told me he liked me two weeks ago. Somehow I convinced myself that he was going to let it go. As much as I would like to vent about this really awkward situation/ relationship with this guy, it will have to be shared another time and maybe not on my blog just in case I end up saying something hurtful. Well, after we both said our goodmornings, he asked how I slept. I responded by saying “good. I was totally knocked out.” And he says “oh haha I know. I saw.” (ew). So I asked “you saw? How?” and he said “well I guess Katie left your door open when she went to work this morning so when I walked by I peeked in.”  Then I said, “I see” and awkwardly walked back to my room.

I know this situation doesn’t seem like a big enough deal to let ruin my day. But for some reason, I let it put me in such a sour mood for the rest of the morning. I felt so grossed out and violated. (there’s been other things that he has been doing around me that added to me feeling that way). So I left to work convinced that everything will get better. I mean, I had work with my coworker and bible study to look forward to!

So I get to work and was greeted by my boss. Apparently my coworker called in sick and I knew exactly what that meant. My boss was going to leave at 3 and I was going to be stuck taking care of the mid day rush… ALONE. Honestly, this isn’t new to me and I wouldn’t have been upset with working alone on a Saturday night if my boss hadn’t asked me to finish up with the rest of the floor display as she was walking out of the store. Lame right? Why didn’t I say sorry I can’t I have some where to be tonight? Because I suck at saying no. and I’m sure my boss didn’t expect it to be as busy as it was when she asked me and because she has been a second mom to me for the last three years… I really have a hard time turning her down when she asks for help. So I decided to see it through. I would finish inventory and work on the floor display after the rush.

With lines at the fitting room and a line at the register, I was running back and forth trying to help everyone. Sometime in between helping people in the fitting room, waiting for a fitting rooms to open, helping people in line to check out, and helping people that needed styling advice- I had two people try to steal, I had someone call me a racist, and someone call me a lazy beezy- COOOOOOOOOL DUDE. The person that called me a racist was angry because I asked her to give me a second to let someone into the fitting room before ringing her up. It takes, oh about 20 seconds to do that. But I don’t know, something registered in her mind within those 20 seconds that told her that I’m a racist because I went to go let a white girl into the fitting room before checking her out and that she should probably tell me off.

There’s a mini story to everything that happened at work today but to save you from a bunch of silly venting- I'll cut to the reason why I was so upset all day. I was just upset with people! Some people are so ridiculous and mean! Why… why are people so mean!

AND why am I such a weenie!!!! As I was closing the store to finish the floor display I was thinking to myself, obviously. I was reflecting on the way I reacted to everything and I was just super down on myself. Just the other night I was so in love with Jesus. I had one of those super intimate moments with Him that brings me to tears just thinking about how much He loves me. I went to bed feeling like the luckiest girl in the world because I had such an awesome love. And the very next day, I almost forgot about it! I was super struggling with being kind and loving. I hated the thoughts I was having about these people. And what I hated the most was the lie I was listening to. The lie that told me that I’m not a good Christian because I don’t have the joy of the Lord in my moment of weakness. Something about listening to that lie totally crushed me and brought me to tears before making it out of the store.

I’ve been so on top of the world lately and it’s because I’ve been renewed everyday for the last few weeks with a new perspective of how much God loves me. I’ve been really blessed. And because of that, I’ve made a conscious effort to extend Christ’s love in everything that I do and to put into practice what I’ve been learning. And clearly, I did just the opposite yesterday. I’m still processing what I’m supposed to learn from today’s event. I went to visit one of my coworkers before going home and felt a lot better after venting to her. She reminded me of various times where Jesus had righteous anger and told me that just because we’re a Christian does not mean that we are called to never feel angry towards the brokenness of the world. I’m just telling myself that today was one day and tomorrow will be another. I’m still processing everything and would love your input. I’m feeling a lot better and am looking forward to being in fellowship as soon as I get through work tomorrow. Can’t wait to give you a hug!